You Can Never Rely on Teenagers

By: Daryl | January 7th, 2009

Managing: Newcastle
Date: December 10th, 2009
Progress: Hogging mid-table at 10th after 14 games. On a cup run though.

vs Spurs (home) W 3-2
This is the game that tricked me into thinking my Alan Dzagoev purchase was really starting to work out. Like any teenager, he’s getting more mature, less spotty and more reliable.

With two deep lying defensive mids (Chantome and Coloccini) behind him, the Russian super-chav used that platform to dominate this game. 4 key passes, one assist and the matchwinner with a beauty of a 57th minute free kick. I even took him off in the 89th so that he could get a standing ovation. I was expecting letters of apology from all the fans who “regarded his purchase as an aberration.”

As long as they didn’t watch the next two games.

Europa League Group B vs Red Star (home) W 5-2
Another start for Lewandowski and another two goals. A slightly weakened Newcastle team (rested Pog and Jonas because we play Pompey three days later) went one down in the 15th minute, but then took Red Star to pieces. Sadly, Dzagoev was back to his old ways with an anonymous 6. Maybe he’s not so reliable after all. Unless being reliably unreliable counts. Which it doesn’t.

This win guarantees qualification for the last 32 though, so should please the board.

vs Portsmouth (away) D 4-4
This is another one of those Liverpool vs Newcastle type games that Sky Sports will be wetting their pants over. Sadly, it wasn’t on TV, but they’ll still show the highlights in years to come.

I was one down after 4 minutes, but level after eight through Lewandowski (startimg ahead of Pog on merit). Then Scott Law (20 year old Scotsman Pompey pinched from Aberdeen) scored two tap-ins and I was 3-1 down at the half. Time for some changes, off came Dzagoev (5.3! Can I send him to teenage Siberia or something?) and Chantome (a straight 6, starting to worry about him) and on came Pog and N’Zogbia to make an attacking 4-2-4. Balls out.

Lew scored in the 50th, Pog levelled in the 76th and then banged in what looked like a winner in the 85th. Sadly, I was too busy celebrating to switch my tactics from balls out attacking to defend for the last five and Jermain Defoe equalized in the 87th. Note to self: press pause if you need time to celebrate a winner.

Carling Cup QF vs Blackburn (home) D 0-0, won on pens
Absolutely pummeled Rovers for 120 minutes (Paul Robinson got MOM) but couldn’t score. Apparently used up all my luck in front of goal in the last two games. But I did remember the valuable lesson learned here and didn’t let any players take kicks who were wheezing after playing 120. Survival of the fittest, and we won in sudden death when Jose Enrique (who’s looking very reliable at left back these days) scored and Shay Given saved Steven Reid’s shot. Semis here we come (yeah, I know it’s only the CC, but I want some silverware.)

And as for Alan… he got a respectable 7.2, so maybe he’s not all bad. I’m determined for him to come good, so will be sticking with him for as long as possible.