FC St. Pauli have a new manager…By: Dave | November 12th, 2010
And it’s me. Gone is Holger Stanislowski, consigned to history in the name of success. The sort of success that can only be achieved by hiring a man who once guided Kettering Town to the Premiership, Ajax to three consecutive European Cups (because that’s never been done before), and, ahem, got Newcastle relegated. From the Championship. But that was all last year. Surely I can’t be as bad this time round?
I looked at all your suggestions, I really did. Shane’s suggestion of breaking the Dynamo/Shakthar duopoly in Ukraine was hugely tempting, and would have made for a great story, even if it would have cost me the “I” and “Y” keys on my keyboard. Restoring AC Milan’s glory was another great idea, and who wouldn’t want to manage Ibrahimovic, Robinho and Ronaldinho? Pro Vercelli’s story has already been done, and done so well that I doubt anyone will ever attempt it again.
And through all the other suggestions, my mind kept flicking back to Omar’s idea of St. Pauli. Soon my bookmarks bar was full of stories of this wonderful club, a team with passionate supporters, genuine ideals and a nursery in their stadium. A team who could battle against the odds of being predicted to come bottom of the Bundesliga, and who could prevail. Provided I could get rid of about half the squad in the opening transfer window.
What greeted me on my first day at the fabled Millerntor-Stadium was not too bad at first. The squad is excessively large, especially so for a league featuring only 18 teams, although there is a surprising amount of quality in the side, especially in a forward line containing wunderkind Deniz Naki, on loan Richard Sukuta-Pasu and grizzled veteran Marius Ebbers. However, investment in a new goalkeeper will be my first priority, along with a new centre back and fullback, as I’ve always found it easier to score goals than to prevent them being scored, so a solid backline is essential if there’s to be any success taken from the season.
However, then came the sledgehammer blow. I told the board I could Avoid Relegation, and was “rewarded” with £110k transfer budget and £10k spare wage budget. Hopefully this can be augmented by the huge cull that I’m about to instigate in a bloated squad, but it still means that free transfers are likely to be the majority, if not all, of my buys. This could be harder than I thought. Still, no-one ever got anywhere by being negative. Except Jose Mourinho.
Think you know who I should buy, who I should sell or who I should make a series of increasingly desperate bids for before they sign for Stuttgart? Tell me below.